Constantine Fhionddleigh

Besides having an unpronounceable name, Constantine Fhionddleigh is an English major and an old friend (for certain values of "friend") of Clatterbuck Greenerwalt. The two worked together at The Fallen Hero at their old school. Constantine is an editor and writer, but spends most of his time arguing with Clatterbuck and denouncing his musical choices as "barbaric." He claims to have been tricked into moving into the apartment next to Clatterbuck and complains that the walls don't block out the sounds of Clatterbuck playing his guitar. He currently works as an assistant to Dr. Mesinger; however, Dr. Mesinger does not apparently like him.

Constantine's main goals in life appears to be becoming a freelance journalist and writing literary novels about violently unhappy people, which he claims he has no intention of publishing or even showing to anyone.